Freeza Has A Cold
by Shadode
Summary: Exactly as the title says.


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Freeza Has A Cold

"AAAACHOOOO!!! AAAACHOOO!!!!!" Horrendous sneezing could be heard throughout the metal spacecraft that sat on the ground. Hoarse coughing followed the loud sneezing. "Kuso! I hate colds." A somewhat feminine voice said. The normally biting tone was all distorted because of the person's stuffy nose, so instead of sounding like himself, the person sounded like Fran Dresher.

Freeza hated colds. Not because of the sneezing, but because of the damage his sneezing was doing. Already he'd destroyed one of the corridors in his ship.

"ZARBON!!!"

"Do I hear Fran Dresher?" Zarbon rounded the corner.

"Shut up you baka and get this fixed." Freeza sniffled again and then tacked on, "NOW!!!" He sneezed again and Zarbon found himself covered in snot. He got out of there in a hurry, but Dodoria stopped him. Freeza's sneezing could be heard in the background.

"What is with Master Freeza?" Dodoria asked, sneering at the snot that Zarbon was unsuccessfully trying to wipe off.

"He has a cold. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go wash my hair. Eh." Zarbon walked off quickly.

Later…

Freeza was planning on going for a little planetkilling rampage. But trying to fly while sneezing was almost impossible for him. Every time Freeza sneezed he was sent flying back at least twenty feet and often wound up falling out of his hoverchair.

"Kuso! How am I supposed to get the job done when I can't even GET there!?" Freeza cursed. All of a sudden a whole bunch of Fran Dresher fans came running around the corner. "Oh great! Not again!" He took off in the opposite direction, but sneezed and landed right in the middle of them all.

People yanked his horns and pulled on his tail. "Oh take off that goofy costume!" Someone said.

"Nice disguise! Trying to hide or stand out!"

"GET-AAAACHOOOOO!!!!!! OFF-AAAAAACHOOOOOOOO!!!! ME!!! AAACHOOO!" Every sneeze Freeza made sent a fan flying.

"That ain't Fran! He's a HE!" Zarbon came to the 'rescue'. He instantly realized his mistake when all the women started chasing after him. Within seconds he was in the middle of a mob of screaming, hormone-struck females. And he loved every second of it. "I'll get back to you Freeza." Zarbon grinned as some gorgeous blond grabbed his rear end. "Hey baby…"

"Zarbon you baka!" Freeza shrieked.

"Hey! You're not Fran!"

Freeza turned around. "AAAHHH!! YOU!!!"

Goku dropped his autograph book. "What's the deal with your voice?"

Freeza didn't answer. Instead he started sneezing again, and his sneezing sent Goku flying over the mountains.

Everybody looked oddly at Goku when he came crashing through the roof all covered in snot.

"Ew! Goku what happened?"

Sheepishly, Goku replied, "Freeza has a cold."

The next day, Freeza woke up and sniffed with a clear nose. No sneezing. No congestion. His voice was finally back to normal. "Ah, at last!"

The door opened and Zarbon came in. His cape was wrinkled, his braid was all messed up and he had lip smacks all over his body. Freeza turned around and glared at Zarbon as he fell over on his back and sighed.

"Get up!"

"Just a moment. I need time to recover. Ah…ok." Zarbon got up and walked up to Freeza. "So what are your orders for the day?"

"Well first of all…GET CLEANED UP!!!"

"Yes sir."

"Now get out!"

"Yes sir." Zarbon wiped his nose and turned to leave. "Ah-"

"What the hell is your problem?" Freeza snapped.

"Ah-nothing Freeza…ah-"

Sighing irritably, Freeza stepped in Zarbon's path. "Then stop being a-"

"AAACHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Zarbon sneezed and Freeza found himself covered in snot.

"-baka" He finished the sentence and then slapped his palm against his face. "Oh great. Can this get any worse?"

Dodoria came in. "Freeza! I heard the noise and-ACCCHOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Zarbon sneezed again. Then Dodoria sneezed. Then they both sneezed at the same time and blew each other into opposite ends of the room, leaving Freeza in the middle with at least three layers of their snot covering him. When that happened, only one noise could be heard among the chorus of sneezes.

"AAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!"


End file.
